Sarah Russ

When Drakedropped his magnum opus, The Motto, even he said he was not expecting itto catch on like it did. We have heard it now as an excuse for every stupidbehavior in the book, from the mundane of ordering pizza again, to thestraight irresponsible like going to LIV on a weeknight.

The thing that we are missing in the meantime is the pure genius behind the reminder that we really only live once.

Use that motto to your advantage by doing some truly amazing things while you have the chance and not just to increase your cholesterol and/or chances of liver disease.

Learn to Say "Yes" More

A lot of us avoidusing our vacation days in order to cash them out at the end of the year and bethe “good guy” at work who never leaves on vacation, meanwhile we burnourselves out until we are snapping at the receptionist when he forgets to addus to the lunch takeout order. Or maybe we avoid doing something mildly riskybecause we are worried about a possible injury, but then sit in awe of theperson in the break room telling tales of skydiving and ziplining in sceniclocales.

When you get that text from a friend that says, “Hey this destination marathon in a few months looks amazing,” and you automatically feel jealous that they will probably end up loving every minute of it and you will later scroll through their good time on Instagram later, take a pause. Give yourself a little reminder of, “YOLO,” that a random adventure in Iceland with a good friend probably won’t be an opportunity that arises often in life and consider saying yes. This is how amazing lives worth living happen. Not by doing everything you want every minute of the day, by draining your bank account on random nonsense that does nothing for your soul, but by saying yes to a handful of truly amazing experiences as they present themselves.

The Benefits of Meaningful Experiences

Not to mention,if you are regularly having mostly responsible nights, with a few meaningful,inspiring occasions throughout the year, you are much more likely to feelfulfilled in the long term. Enriching connections with friends and family in aonce in a lifetime venue or activity, like a hot air balloon ride, or jumpinginto a hot spring, or learning to surf or ski, will mean more than 100 nightsout could ever achieve.

These types ofexperiences also spur creativity because they revive us and energize us in waysour regular environment cannot. The theory of hedonic adaption conceptualizesthat after a few days of enjoying some new part of your environment i.e. ahigher floor or a new leather couch, you will settle back into your same stablesetpoint of happiness. So everyday upgrades tend not to be as meaningful overtime.

That’s not to say you must drop every somewhat normal activity you have, you should enjoy your day to day as well, but be willing to go all out on those moments that you will never get an opportunity to do again.

So the next time something unique and a little scary presents itself, hit that Spotify search, and repeat The Motto to yourself until you think of a way to fit that 16-day hike through the Silk Road route into your calendar. You can always hope for reincarnation, but it might be better to just live during this life in the meantime.

Theconcept of flow was first outlined by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in abest-selling book by the same name on the subject. Flow does not refer to “goingwith the flow,” however, it refers to the state of mind one enters whencompleting a particularly difficult task that engages certain neural centers ofthe brain. This usually happens with a challenging workout or a game thatrequires timing and attention.

When you enter the state of flow, it stops you from overthinking about your yearly evaluation at work, or about those upcoming holiday parties where you must endure a round of questioning by your aunt who wants to know why if you are still single she can’t set you up with that nice doctor at temple.

Flow Helps Solve Problems

Flow does something else, though, it increases problem-solving skills and reduces your reactionary thinking in moments of stress because your neural pathways have practice at readjusting for unexpected challenges. Over time, neural pathways can be strengthened and our thoughts tend to repeat in whatever particular way we practice. Therefore if you practice making healthy and rational adjustments to unexpected challenges, when you face one in real life, like a delayed flight when your parents were adamant about dinner reservations the second you land for Christmas, you will be able to more calmly adjust without that dramatic reactionary stress.

It Can Be Used as a Strategic Tool

It is also a strategy you can use during a stressful task. For example, you can create a challenge for yourself at work on how to tackle a complex assignment so that you hit certain goals by particular times of day, creating a game for yourself out of the task. If you look at your work as an opportunity to induce a state of flow, you will be able to turn it from an anxiety-producing experience into an anxiety-reducing experience.

Flow is Easy Implement

This isfairly easy to implement, enjoy a reasonable amount of video game time at homeafter a stressful day, or a game of Tetris on your phone for a few minutes immediatelyfollowing a stressful meeting. Or you can choose to combine your sense of flowwith physical exercise by picking a fitness class that involves a somewhatcomplicated routine, like a boxing class, bootcamp, or dance class. It is okayif you aren’t good at the choreography, the point is just to focus oncompleting a complicated task that is purely for enjoyment.

Duringyour holiday travels download games like Tetris for your flight, grab yourfavorite cousin for line dancing at the local country bar in your hometown, orif you have family visiting Miami, bring them to try out a Salsa night andreally focus on learning some new moves.  Try treating your gift-wrapping and holidayshopping as opportunities to get lost in the task you are completing in orderto block out other stressors.

Take a look at a few of these resources below to get more information on the concept of Flow and how to implement it:

• Stress-Proof
• Flow

With Art Basel, one of the world’s largest art festivals, kicking off right in our backyard, it’s a great time to take advantage of art as a therapeutic tool. For most of us, art is an enjoyable way to pass the time, or a good excuse for a more inspired night out, but it does a lot more for us than we usually notice.

Research has shown that when you see a piece of art you connect with, the neural pathways in your brain light up in a similar pattern to how artists’ neural pathways light up during the creative process. The American Association for the Advancement of Science refers to this as part of a more complicated process called Embodied Cognition, which also involves a more visceral understanding of another person’s intent behind their artistic process. This could indicate you could leave a great gallery or show with more creative inspiration. Inspiration can be the motivation you need to get through a challenging time at work, start a new workout routine, or start a creative process of your own.

*RELATED Mental Health Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated. Getting Outdoors Can Make a Difference

Engaging in art projects also provide a sense of expression that sometimes feels belabored when you attempt to express something similar in words. Even for the most verbose individuals, some emotions are better expressed via physical, artistic, or musical expression. Artistic expression can provide a release for painful emotions, or by another token, further expression of joy which can compound the uplifting chemicals in your brain. If this type of expression is received and reflected by friends or audience members, a person may feel more understood and accepted for that emotional expression which boosts self-esteem and encourages you to continue the healthy expression of emotions. Rewards for behaviors also reinforce neural pathways and encourage similar behavior in the future.

There are abundant types of events you can attend in Miami this week to test out these theories, so pick one that suits your mood. If you are in the mood for something quiet or contemplative, pick a smaller gallery with one or two artists you’ve been wanting to see or an intimate talk with limited seating. If you are craving connection, pick something interactive like a live muralist, performance artist, or gallery opening.

Your artful healing does not have to stop when Art Basel weekends, either. Creating art regularly has been shown to improve memory centers in Alzheimer’s patients and those with other cognitive deficits, so it is likely that you may see functional improvement with a regular art activity. Improved functioning can also mean that you are less overwhelmed by your daily tasks which can lessen stress. Artistic projects also allow a healthy distraction from negative thoughts and feelings or can be a replacement for negative habits you are trying to quit like drinking or smoking.

Right here in Miami, you have year-round access to the Perez Art Museum, and the Museum of Art and Design, as well as multiple galleries in Wynwood and their monthly Second Saturday Art Walks. There are also many art classes for adults at some of the following links. If you are more of a homebody, you can also catch Bob Ross on Amazon Prime for some fun painting tutorials or start with some creative DIY projects like homemade crafts for upcoming heartfelt holiday gifts.

Mentalhealth sometimes seems like a complicated code to crack with past problems touncover and patterns of behavior to change. And really … what does therapy evendo? The good news is there are many simple things that you can do to improveyour mental health without getting into complex theories and treatment plans.

One amazing thing we have access to year-round here in South Florida is the beautiful outdoors. Many recent studies have shown getting outside on a regular basis can reduce stress, increase self-esteem, and improve mood. Some studies have shown improvement in cortisol levels which is linked to stress and unwanted weight gain. Other studies showed decreased symptoms in individuals with major depressive disorder, see the articles below for more of the science behind these claims.

*RELATED 8 of the Best Miami Workouts With a View

This may explain why some individuals suffer from seasonal affective disorder, a diagnosis that specifically addresses the mood depressive affects of winter. It is statistically more common in places where the ratio of light to dark is greatly decreased in the winter, and the weather makes it very difficult to get outdoors.

Addingoutdoor time might sound like just another item to add to your to-do list, butthere are simple ways to integrate it into your regular routine.

Try one of the many fun outdoor fitness options from STAY FIT 305’s Monthly Sweat Guides instead of your normal indoor fitness routine. When you meet a friend for brunch or dinner, ask for outdoor seating somewhere with a nice view (there’s no shortage of options in South Florida), or have your morning coffee on your patio or balcony. Make an important meeting a “walking” meeting in an outdoor space, like one of the many local parks in Miami.

*RELATED Your Guide to Miami’s Most Popular Run Clubs

If youare feeling a little more adventurous, try one of these beautiful outdoorspaces in Miami-Dade; the Miami Beach Botanical Garden, Oleta State Park,Virginia Key Outdoor Center, Amelia Earhart Park, or the Fairchild TropicalBotanic Garden. Feeling pressed for time? Consider taking on a few plants onyour patio, they will force you to come out to water them a few times per week.If you rent or own in a condominium community, put that HOA fee to work byutilizing the pool area or tennis courts available.

Mentalhealth does not have to be complicated to work, so consider adding a few moreoutdoor activities to your routine and see if notice any improvements that,pardon the pun, come naturally.

Read the latest Mental Health Monday column, from Sarah Russ, on being "triggered."

Lately, millennials have popularized letting others know when they are “triggered” by something, usually in an attempt to let someone know that their commentary is offensive in some way, and avoid heated debates, hopefully causing the individual who made the commentary to self-reflect or use different language moving forward.

Contrary to this trend, a common tenet in mental health and in life-coaching philosophies is that if something triggers you, there is something to be healed within yourself related to that trigger. I am not referring to blatant racism, sexism, or other overt offensive behavior. I am referring to that girl who is a friend of a friend who you just cannot be bothered to put up with. This is actually a great time for you to self-reflect. If you use your gut reactions blindly to help you make decisions, you may be doing so without really understanding what they mean to you, and if you are triggered often, it may be a sign that you may be the common denominator.

This is often referred to as “insight” by therapists and is used to describe how well you are able to reflect on a visceral reaction to a circumstance or personality type and see how these relate to some part of your life.

First, take a closer look at the behavior or personalitytrait that is bugging you, and compare it to your own experience: Is thissomething you are afraid you do too much? Is it something that someone awfulused to do to you all the time unapologetically? Is it something you arejealous of or wish you could do? If you are scared to explore it, maybe enlista good friend to help you unearth it, or if you find it really nagging you,seek out a therapist to analyze it with you.

Once you find the nerve it is hitting, ask yourself, do Ilike this particular area of my life or does this mean I should change oradjust it? Jealousy is maybe the least flattering reason to uncover, but is oneof the easier ones to solve: just do the thing you are jealous of; finish yourdegree, start working on improving your income, start taking care of yourselfmore, etc. But what if it is intrinsic self-esteem you are jealous of? Or whatif you are triggered because of a past trauma you haven’t processed?

These are harder things to work on, but releasing past trauma with modalities like EMDR, and building self-esteem with CBT and positive self-talk, will allow you to have easier relationships with people, and to have more peace when confronted with a less than ideal personality at your bestie’s next get together. Many evidence-based workbooks can be found online to do work on your own, or you can seek out a mental health professional to do this work with you.

Next time you feel yourself wanting to tell someone you areoffended, pause for a second and decide if it is a larger pattern that you cantake charge of for yourself.

See the following links for therapists in the Miami-Dade area specializing in EMDR and CBT, and evidence-based workbooks:

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/emdr/fl/miami
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/cognitive-behavioral-cbt/fl/miami?sid=5dbefaba6f5f6
• https://www.amazon.com/s?k=cbt+workbook+for+adults&i=stripbooks&crid=VE8MKAC7MQQL&sprefix=cbt+workbook+%2Cstripbooks%2C268&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_3_13

We have all been there, a few too many happy-hour invites during the week, then brunch plans, then a good game on Sunday can quickly mean your normal, moderate number of drinks for the week goes up to a cringe-worthy number. And most of us have that ‘fun’ friend who when you head for the exit pipes up with, “Oh come on, one more, you’re ubering anyway!” How do we maintain our moderation in the face of social pressure and the need to blow off steam?

A recent uptick in the number of millennials engaging in sort-of sobriety for “Dry January” and “Sober October” as well as a number of new books on the topic suggests it’s a common question: Should I just stop drinking?

It is a good thing to evaluate your drinking and engage in some self-reflection if you see those numbers increase. Unfortunately, there is some stigma around admitting that alcohol or other recreational substances are a problem for you, but the more honest you can get with yourself, the safer you will be when it comes to how you choose to enjoy them. Also, sometimes your reflection about substances can trigger others who may not want to reflect on their usage.

One indicator of having problematic drinking is if you have felt the need to cut back and were unable to do so. This makes Dry January the perfect test-drive of sobriety, if you try to commit and cannot do it, it may be time to talk to a mental health professional. If you are able to complete it with just a few aggravations or awkward “just seltzer please” moments, that is a good indicator that you do not have a bigger issue from an addictions perspective.

Time away from libations can also be a great time to reclaim lost hobbies that cocktails may have crowded out. Take that #SundayFunday time to go kayaking, golfing, painting, or baking. You can also explore activities you have been wanting to try out but hadn’t found the time before. 

Breaks from alcohol are certainly healthy for your body, but also for friendships and relationships. Connecting with friends and loved ones on a deeper level can be easier to do without the fog of drinks in the way.  You might find that some individuals are triggered by your evaluation of your drinking habits, because some of them may not be ready to examine their own. Be gentle, and non-judgmental of friends like these, but allow yourself to be firm about the boundaries you want to place on alcohol.

There are lots of ways to have a healthier relationship to alcohol, visit this resource for more options and information: https://www.rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov

If you are struggling with a bigger issue with alcohol, some signs can be; social or legal ramifications, drinking more and over longer periods of time than intended, blackouts, medical consequences, and withdrawal symptoms. If you see that any of these are a problem for you, get free, confidential assistance by calling the Florida Department of Health Substance Abuse Hotline at 1-800-662-HELP or seeking out an addictions or mental health professional.